Red Bull Gives You Wings
by Inaccessible Formalities
Summary: Don't you think it would be a little suspicious to arrive in Muggle America with wings?" Minerva asked suspiciously. A reward for saving the world gone awry.


A/N: As with all my stories, Albus Dumbledore is not dead OR gay. Amelia Bones isn't dead either. The events of DH and HPB are pretty much nonexistent. Also, I've never been on a plane before, so I really have no idea if they play music aboard. If not, it's my story and I can do what I want with it!

Challenge: Use the following words in a story: dolphin, chocolate, asparagus, tornado, banshee, ding-dong, Amelia, kangaroo, toast, Fluffy.

RED BULL GIVES YOU WINGS

Banished to Muggle America was not Minerva McGonagall's idea of a reward. In her perspective, Amelia Bones was a Muggle's idea of a witch. Evil, scary, and no good to society. Banished, perhaps, wasn't the correct word. Sent, could work. She could remember the words as if they were said ten seconds ago, not three weeks in the past. _"As a reward, on behalf of the Ministry of Magic, I present these heroes with a Portkey to America, New York City, to be exact, where they will be living on a Fifth Avenue apartment for three weeks." _

Still hardly able to contain the shiver of contempt that ran through her, Minerva sighed, and called Piffle, her house elf, and asked for a bit of toast, and some tea. She had three weeks to prepare, to learn how to dress "Muggle", more specifically. Magic was allowed, but only in the safety of the apartment.

Albus Dumbledore was ecstatic. A chance to spend three weeks in a Muggle city with some of his closest friends, no work, and no Ministry obligations? He could not have been more excited. Having decided some two weeks ago to start learning what was 'hip' in Muggle America, he magicked on his Wizarding radio. Eyes popping in recognition, he began to hum along with the music.

"_Everybody's gonna love today, love today, love today…"_ the radio sang, while Albus packed his favorite pajamas, a two piece set, consisting of a short-sleeved button up shirt and pants, both in a violent shade of purple, with orange dolphins, and lime green asparagus in a shocking pattern. They were his favorite pajamas, and he just knew his friends would love them.

The three weeks past, and soon, five very disgruntled Order members found themselves aboard a plane. "The nerve of some witches," Mad-Eye Moody began, "how she expected us to live after we've tried this contraption, I'll never know."

"And the _music,"_ Tonks added, "simply horrible."

"I rather enjoy it," Albus said, eyes twinkling. The other wizards aboard did not need to know he requested they play this.

"What _is _it, anyway?"

"Awake now, my dear?"

"Yes, the squeakiness of this gentlemen's voice awoke me."

"I do apologize, Minerva, I must have forgotten when I requested the pilot play Mika. See, I've been--"

"You've been _what, _Dumbledore?" Mad-Eye cut him off. "You requested this codswallop?"

"I enjoy it, Alastor. In any case, I was studying these past weeks, to see what the American Muggles find 'hip'. This Mika fellow seemed to be at the top of all the charts."

"Can I help ya'll with anything?" a flight attendant with fake looking blonde hair asked, in a perky voice. "Any drinks? We've got hot chocolate, juice, water, tea," her voice then dropped down to a whisper, "_adult beverages, _and more!" she finished.

Albus looked around, at his companions. "I'll have a Red Bull," he said. Several others chorused in with their drinks of choice, and the flight attendant was gone.

"A Red Bull, Albus? Really?" Minerva questioned. "Don't you think… it would be rather _suspicious _to arrive in New York with wings?"

Tonks laughed. "Minerva, Red Bull doesn't really give the drinker wings. It's just there to give you caffeine high."

"It's what all the _hip _kids drink," Remus added sarcastically, and was about to add something more, but the drinks had arrived. Taking a large sip of his hot chocolate, he sighed in contentment.

"Ghastly Muggle transportation devices, aero planes are." Tonks stated, secretly pulling out the Portkey to their apartment.

"I quite agree," Minerva said, "I can't quite wrap my mind around the fact that the Muggle man set his pet kangaroo loose."

"Muggles like them make the world interesting, my dear, I happened to find the kangaroo quite exciting. Hopping about and such. Quite a name it had, too, Ding-Dong."

"Yes, it just _rolls_ off the tongue," Mad-Eye added sarcastically. "Let's go and see what this apartment looks like. It better well be clean."

The five wizards looked around, noticing the fight that had broken loose between the Muggle man with the kangaroo and the airport's security, and quickly disappeared because of the Portkey.

The apartment, as Mad-Eye had hoped, was clean. Sparkling clean, and it had the faintest trace of a Sherbert Lemon cleaning product.

"American Muggles think of everything, don't they?" Albus said upon noticing the scent.

Seconds after making that remark, the clan of Order members jumped to face the door, pulling out their wands in the process.

The door opened, and on the other side was no other than Hagrid, and his three headed dog, Fluffy.

"Ya'll didn't think that you could get away wi'out me, didja?" he said gruffly.

Fluffy growled in agreement.

End.


End file.
